Citrix Coach In a Car: Mental Health – Part 1
This week we're tackling something not talked often enough in Tech – Mental Health. The more travel, consulting and coaching I do the more I realize how underserved this topic really is.
So I decided to split this into 2 longer episodes in the hope you will be positively impacted by them! I'm being more vulnerable than I normally am here, even telling you about my experiences in getting qualified counseling help and how that changed my life. If you are in a bad spot – seek the guidance of a trained professional.
That said If you are interested in hiring me as your Career and Life Success Coach (Citrix or otherwise) please visit http://CitrixCoach.com to learn more!
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Video Highlights
03:28: When it comes to mental health, that's a big part of what is missed, especially in the technology world.
03:58: The only way that people are going to change is if they are offended out of their current mode.
04:05: If I say something to you that is offending you, then I would encourage you to not look towards me but look towards yourself and say, okay, what, what about that offended me?
04:25: [being offended] Was that really against me personally or is it something, where there's a mirror, pointed back at you and you don't like it, that sort of thing.
05:09: [deep-seated issues] What I'm talking about is either unresolved things from your past or current circumstances that have grown to the point where they've not been dealt with for so long that they are out of control basically.
05:28: In the IT world what I find is that the people that are attracted to that line of work tend to be those that are not necessarily good at communicating their feelings right.
08:56: [coping mechanisms] There are some that are just, I gotta be honest, more destructive than others. Going on occasionally getting, you know, a little drunk is one thing, but, being drunk all the time or escaping any kind of, what you might call drama, by going off and drinking is really not healthy.
09:23: If you're self-medicating, then you really need to look into why you're doing that and be honest with yourself and say, am I doing this because I feel so overwhelmed that I can't feel like I can function any other way?
09:49: In most cases, the hardest thing to do is to get help because you have to face the very thing that puts you into that situation in the first place.
10:39: Deep down we all recognize the trajectory that we're on. If we are in a space where we are self-medicating and using substances to get by, we know where that road goes, we know where that's heading. You really need to get off of it.
13:28: The other thing, a lot of people don't necessarily turn to substances or things like that, but they basically turn to this: At one point in my life I kind of called it like the Batman syndrome kind of thing where everybody's against you, you're their hero, but everybody's against you. d I'm not sure I totally like that analogy, but that is kind of what the mentality gets into. You get to this mode where you are just so used to not being thanked for what you do and not feeling like it's going anywhere, even though you put effort towards it or what you perceive as an effort towards it.
14:25: The other part about that is that you just can't see anything other than the pain of working, but you still are, obsessed is the wrong word; it's similar where you are basically work addicted.
15:16: When you are constantly stretched beyond what you can handle and you feel like that is your new norm; if you don't get to that point, you're not working hard enough. So you get to that point of being stretched and then you find you need to go further because you've set up all these things, a lot of times unconsciously, that make everyone dependent on you.
16:34: When you specifically push somebody out of your way and do the work for them just because you're irritated by them not knowing what you know, you don't feel better, you feel worse.
18:45: There's a lot of things about depression that are misunderstood. First off, almost everyone deals with depression at some point, at some level in their lives.
19:25: Depression is more or less a sense of a lack of energy, basically is the best way to describe it, where you just don't feel you can achieve anything. You can't even get out of bed, that can be a challenge.
19:57: Depression, as far as clinical depression goes, there has to be either a pattern or a length of time where that has not lifted.
20:38: I want to give you some pointers. First of all, like I just said, get help.
22:40: What I figured out that it was, with the help of this counselor, was that it wasn't necessarily my circumstances that were the problem. It was something, a kind of perspective and willingness that let that circumstance control my life.
24:13: A psychologist is somebody who is largely study-based and a psychiatrist is somebody who can actually perform therapy.
25:13: [stinkin thinkin] I have trained myself to know when that's happening, to stop and take control of that and say, is this real?
26:41: When it comes to mental health, interestingly enough, the power of the mind over the body actually has an effect physically on the body.
28:28: [idea mania] That's something that in IT, we face every now and then, where we hear something and we get excited about it and we want to do it. We get it about maybe halfway done and then the energy runs out and we just don't really finish it. We get distracted and go on something else. That's more normal than a lot of people realize.
29:58: If you want to be successful, you need to set yourself up with triggers and activation triggers, as one of my influencers, Michael Hyatt, will call them. It's where you have an event in your day or your week or whatever, that activates another task or activates something that you can stay consistent with. That's a way to get past that kind of up and down cycle where you're basing what you're working on your energy and you make what you're working on based on your habits.
32:16: If you have kids, make that a priority. We've had too many years of people being more obsessed with success than with their family.
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